Analyse This

I know there's no reason for anyone who doesn't know me to read this blog - it's not, after all, about anything important, it's just me wittering on for my own entertainment, really. But that's not to say that I wasn't unreasonably excited when I received a comment from someone I didn't know (that wasn't spam written in Chinese! It was a bona fide comment!) I was giddy with pleasure - and Commenter, if you're still reading, then have no shame about being a thriller fan - I'm about to read about my fifth in as many days. Admittedly, three of them are for work purposes (not that I'm planning to 'retrain' as a serial killer or anything - I'm doing some freelance copywriting for a website), but I'm enjoying them thoroughly and have abandoned Proper Book Birdsong in the process.

But the other thing that gives me a geekish thrill is checking out the stats which Blogger helpfully provides. If you're the sort of person who Tweets like a canary, then you get all your thrills through seeing how many followers you have, and being re-tweeted. As I don't, I get my ego jollies through noting how many page views I've notched up in a week, and seeing where the traffic's come from. In the last few months, I've had hits from Russia, Taiwan, Latvia and Slovenia! Madness. Goodness only knows how they came across this and what they made of it. *Waves at foreign countries I've never even been to*

I'm imagining that most of them have looked up the poem I took my blog's name from, and that's the only reason they're here. Once there is no mention of me eating sausages or spitting, in verse form, they probably go back to reading Dostoevsky.

However, a recent new thing is that it tells you what search terms people put in, to find themselves washed up on these shores of waffle. The best one so far is this:
'Average women wearing purple bikinis'

I'm really hoping that that was a search put in by a Daily Mail hack. There's surely no other reason for it, is there? I think it's the 'average' that pleases me so much. I mean, that's quite a specific fetish, isn't it? I don't want to see any photos of one of the Kardashians wearing a purple bikini. Nor do I want a morbidly obese woman sporting a two piece in a regal hue. And actually, come to think of it, do I want Gisele or one of those Victoria's Secret models in their swimwear? No, I want an average woman wearing a purple bikini.

The internet has its drawbacks, for sure, but you can't fault it for delivering results when you're looking for something really, really specific. (Shame, in this case, that the average woman I undoubtedly am, chose, for her first ever bikini last summer, a black one. D'oh!)